"When I squeeze your hand it means 'I love you.'" My mother said.
It returns to me. Something sweet. A memory.
And the tears come more quickly than before and more weighty than I had imagined. I new it would come, the missing. And it has. Periodically hitting me when I least expect it and not knowing what exactly to do with it so I just let it come because with it I know healing comes too.
Justin told me tonight that when he and Caeden were in the store today that Caeden squeezed his hand 3 times and Justin was surprised and didn't know what it was but when Caeden grinned at him, he knew. I remembered that last week Maleiah squeezed back too, that's the sweet part, when they squeeze back. A silent, "I love you" that only you share.
And hold close.