This space...

Its been 18 months since I have written in this space and I don't even know where to start in order to catch up.  Perhaps a top 12 from 2012? I stopped writing for no reason at all except we got busy and life got messy and it was hard to write without sharing the mess.  New jobs, sad days, missing my friends back home, vacations, family brokenness.  Pictures are better for now!  :) So if anyone is out there, here a few favorites from 2012:

So nothing fancy or edited...just slapping it on here to maybe get a fresh start.  Tomorrow, 2013?

Fairy Garden

Because she believes in fairies and I can't help but believe a little too, we made a garden for the fairies.  Presumably big fairies because, you know, everything is bigger in Texas.

Justin built the box out of some pallets from work.  Caeden provided the umbrellas because hurricane season is upon us....poor fairies.  They will most likely need a house....

It's been almost a year since Justin was laid off from what we called the "best job ever" and we are embarking on a new journey that has us both completely baffled.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

neither are your ways my ways,” 

declares the LORD. 

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, 

so are my ways higher than your ways 

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

Hundreds of resumes.
Four interviews.
One job offer.
Texas.

The job offer wasn't even a job he interviewed for.  It's his previous employer ("the best boss ever"), the one he was laid off from in 2009.  We said no in July but threw it back on the table in December and it looked different this time.  It still made no sense, why would we go that far away?  Our family, friends, all we have is here in California.  But how long can Justin not work, stay in our house and not lose his mind?  He needs to work, build things, accomplish things.  And truth be told, we need the money.  Still we have no idea why God would send us nearly 1900 miles away, but we are trusting Him, believing Him.  Excitement is coming, intermingled with fear of the unknown.  Sadness grips in the thoughts of being far from family and friends and then peace knowing nothing truly separates our hearts.

All over the blogosphere there are words being chosen and held on to.  Words for 2011.  Sometimes better than goals, resolutions, a word that helps us stay focused and grounded.  Reminding us of what is important.  And I am among them, choosing a word that will define my year.

YES.

What things will I say "Yes" too?  All the things I said "No" to last year.

"No" I won't play a game, come outside, go for a walk, paint a picture, build with Lego's, go to the park....

and the list goes on.

I want to invite magic and celebration into my life this year.  Taking it all in and laughing all the way and I think YES has a lot to do with it.  Texas is part of that this year and though I stubbornly want to kick and scream the whole 1900 miles I know God's in it and that doesn't glorify Him.  So, Yes, we go and it will be hard, that's no lie, but we are gonna do it with a happy heart (as I often tell my children).

YES 2011!

A Messy Life...

A failed history project. :)

Our life just got a bit messier.  Messy in a good way with some not so good mixed in there too.  We just added two teenagers to our life and we seriously have no idea what we are doing.  Amidst job searching, possibly losing our home and ... well, we homeschool.  So it's messy.  I now have a junior higher and a high schooler that I am taking and picking up from school, and with that all the drama that comes with caring for teenage girls.  Particularly girls who haven't been parented in a positive way.  But they are family and we go way back so it was natural to just take them, love them and hope that it works.

So far it's hard but good.  Good because I feel like this is what I was meant to do.  Good because I am up early everyday (now if I can just start getting up at 6 am instead of 6:30 am I might not have a 4 year old following me down the hall... wishful thinking?).  Good because the girls are safe.  Hard because, they are teens.  Enough said.

I have been sewing and knitting, making plans for birthdays and the holidays.  Maleiah turned 4 in October and Caeden turns 9 next week.  Justin and I both have birthdays in November too so it's festive and around every corner is a party.






School is going well.  We scrapped a lot of what we planned to do with Maleiah and she is thriving since we have let her go at her own pace.  It's more fun watching her learn and do things when she is ready rather than forcing it.  She copied her name the other night and I couldn't help but beam and perhaps even shriek.  Justin is taking a math class in hopes of joining an electricians apprenticeship.  Caeden is reading everything in sight and we only have 25 more lessons in his second grade math so we can move on to third!  This is so exciting and now that we are set on Saxon we are seeing the fruit of that decision.

 We have friends moving away, two families we have been very close to these last few years and we are heartbroken yet excited for their journey.  Things are changing for us all around and that makes our hearts messy too.  But we know God is doing something in our midst so we keep waiting with hopeful anticipation for what happens next.

Life is messy but we are embracing it.

Chalk drawings

Building a marshmallow/cereal castle for history.

Our summer was filled with the chaos of our life right now yet sweetened by friends and getaways sprinkled in between.   We began the summer in Pismo Beach with friends camping by the dunes and watching our kids ride bikes for hours, for days with no TV!

We had a summer solstice party to celebrate the coming season and because I needed a reason to have a party, dress things up, cook yummy food and take pictures of my friends {which they hate}.

We have had so much fun in our backyard this summer!  Ladybugs, dragonflies, hawks and spiders.  Butterflies hatched in their bungalow and nests were found buried under brush in the yard.  Hummingbirds visit at the feeder and veggies are growing in the garden amongst praying mantis' that are amazing to watch when captured for a few days. :)  It became a place where kids put on plays and boys {and girls} swing from trees.

Best friends were made.

We drove out of town this year more than ever before.  We wanted to see water.  We wanted to be able to think clearly.  So we headed to murky lakes and called it beautiful just so we didn't have to sit in our house for one more minute.  We drove to places we thought we loved and revised what we thought we loved about it and promised to try again next year but with a different plan.  And we drove to the ocean because as always, the best ideas are formed near big blue.   We stayed in the worst hotel ever but the kids thought it was awesome and I mean"AWESOME!" Like they wanted to stay longer and not go anywhere because they thought it was so great and I just didn't want to touch anything or take a shower, if you know what I mean.  

But, we were on a budget so we soaked in the kids happiness and took them to get a soft serve. 

We drive over the state line and took pictures.  Our kids in Nevada!  

Oh, heck... whoever says that?  

We do.

I swore that this summer I would not sit in front of a computer screen preparing for a school year that changed one month in like last year and for the most part I stuck to that.  I did very little planning which helped me feel like we are in a good place as far as homeschooling goes.  I like what we are using {it still gets tweaked every now and then} but I feel like we have found a groove.... that is often disrupted by a pretty little blond thing that just wants to do school too!

 It's the first day of autumn, the season I was born in and L.O.V.E.  We have spent so much of the last 8 months wondering what comes next for us.  Looking for work has turned up interesting possibilities for our family.

{Texas?  No.}

California has so little in terms of work for Justin yet it holds so much in terms of friends and family.  We are willing to go where there is work and right now that is venturing north, to states I have never been but look so appealing.  We send resumes out daily {here, there, everywhere...}, waiting for something, even if it's just a "thanks but no thanks".  Looking for work is hard these days.  Employers don't call back or email back and in this economy are not willing to pay what a man is worth.  It is disheartening.  We trudge forward, hoping for the best and putting our faith in a God that sees and knows all things.  Whew!  Am I glad for that, since I know nothing.  :)

Ta-ta for now, I have girl who needs waking.

Sweetly Broken

I have kind of claimed this song as my anthem.  I want this for my life...

Sweetly Broken.

Wholly Surrendered.

The last two weeks have been crazy here. We started getting sick on a Thursday, followed by Justin getting laid off on Friday and a death in the family on Saturday. Maleiah had bronchitis was on antibiotics and a breathing treatment. I had a sinus infection, Justin had a bit of it all and Caeden got the least of it. In my parenting life I have never felt worse and together, Justin and I made barely one functioning parent. We are still processing so much and I found the one thing I actually wanted to do was blog. Probably to just get it all out of my head but really it was a jumbled mess so I spared you. Really.  From the moment I found out Justin was laid off again I was really trying to think of the good.  Knowing that everything happens for a reason {but why?}, knowing that God cares and will take care of us {really?}...

My heart was {and still is} scared but trusting.  

0106. The gift of time
0107. Kleenex
0108. Music that breathes life into me
0109. Days together working out the kinks.
0110. Good books that kick our parenting into high stride.
0111. New recipes from a colorful cookbook.
0112. Girlfriends
0113. A family remembering a grandmother who left a legacy.
0114. Maleiah's new made up language.
0115. Caeden's afternoon of creating: a treasure map, a treasure chest and the quest to find the perfect spot in the backyard to bury it.
0116. Side jobs to keep us afloat.
0117. Rainbow legwarmers for a little girl.
0118. Books, books and more books.
0119. Napkins waiting to be made, if I should be so brave.
0120. Sunny days that remind me of San Diego.  

Latest & Greatest

0092.  A one car lifestyle=money saved, simplicity.
0093.  A big box from Rainbow Resource full of goodies to read, play and learn.
0094.  Work after a hard rain.
0095.  Family
0096.  A TV that is turned off and kids imaginations turned on.
0097.  Computer time limited.
0098.  God's word
0099.  Tacos with friends
0100.  Notebooks with scattered ideas and inspiration.
0101.  Burlap for little hands to embroider.
0102.  A niece to love on.
0103.  A scout who won a trophy or two. :)
0104.  A small girl singing.
0105.  Worms

1000 Gifts

0076.  Kids in the kitchen
0077.  Foggy days
0078.  The Wizard of Oz
0079.  Story In A Bag from the library
0080.  Double sided tape
0081.  Goodwill-thanks for feeding the addiction, more books!
0082.  Worship music and a little girl singing, "Hosanna, in the highest!"
0083.  Breath
0084.  Ocean waves that bring me closer to the Creator.
0085.  New yarn
0086.  Friends to meet in coffee shops
0087.  Books about snow
0088.  Bonfires at Papa's
0089.  A good day with my dad.
0090.  Nature that comes right up to our window to say hello.
0091.  Oranges in season

For more gifts go here:

Justin, Lily & Sam

Introducing our squirrel family.

Justin and Lily (named by Caeden a year ago, at least.) have lived in our backyard for some time.  We made a bird feeder that instead feeds the squirrels, the poor birds don't stand a chance.  We have spent a lot of time watching them chase each other playfully in the yard and tease our dog, Maisie.

A few months ago we noticed a squirrel, a smaller one with a thinner tail and realized we had a baby squirrel in the yard!  Justin and Lily (accurately named) had a baby!  Not knowing if it is a boy or girl we decided on Sam (Samantha or Samuel) and we have had so much fun feeding and watching this little guy (or girl).  Sam is a lot more adventurous than his parents.  He comes right up to our kitchen window looking for scraps, nuts, bread and looks at us in the window.  His parents stay in the tree, watching closely.

We made pine cone treats for the birds for Winter Solstice.  Laid out peanuts on the sill for our backyard family and sprinkled seed in the feeder.

Once again, the birds had no chance.  Sam buried all the nuts in the backyard, all over the backyard.  They don't bury them together, each goes into there own little hole.  Justin/Lily enjoyed the seed and the pine cones from which they hung upside down in order to eat from. The next day they had taken the pine cones down from the tree to finish them off and play with.

Farm Tour

We belong to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) located in Capay Valley, California.  Farm Fresh To You delivers a box of fresh from the farm organic fruits and vegetables right to our front door.  We pick the size and how often we want it delivered.  So every Wednesday we get a box of "Mostly Fruit" and it has replaced goldfish crackers, pretzels and crackers of various sorts.  I. Love. It.

Periodically during the year they have farm tours and this year (we just started ordering in November) it was in December.  We loaded up and headed to the farm, in the rain, a lot of rain.  It was about an hour and a half drive and so worth it.  It is a second generation farm...young men, brothers, are running the farm their parents began.  It was humbling walking on the land that supports these men and their families, learning about the planning that goes into getting us this food that we eat and the fact that the rain we had just driven through was the very water that would be stored in the reservoir and water this land.  We picked oranges and stomped in mud puddles, drank hot cider, made caramel apples and grapevine wreaths.

In every box that we get each week there is a newsletter that tells us what is happening that week at the farm.  What's growing, what's not, how things are going.  We read it every Wednesday.  I hope it gives Caeden (later Maleiah) and idea of where our food comes from, what it takes to get it to our mouths and that people are involved in that process, including us.

Gratitude for a NEW YEAR

2010

I love the new year.  A time to refresh, start over. Make new.

Starting with small thanks.

0070.  A Christmas season that was full.
0071.  A year of challenges.  Job loss and a father's stroke.  All making us stronger.
0072.  A break from the day to day school routine.  Restorative.
0073.  Friends to ring in the new year with.
0074.  A new Bible reading plan.
0075.  My husbands job.

Go here for more thanks...

Monday Gifts

0056.  Fellow homeschoolers who struggle and share and succeed and share which makes me a better homeschool mom and fuels the creative juices which then produces a great week of school!
0057.  A fresh cut Christmas tree.
0058.  Our first season of Advent and we are loving it!
0059.  Happy kids despite unesplained fevers.
0060.  A new laminator. :)
0061.  Potty training that was WAY too easy.
0062.  Christmas movies, especially White Christmas.
0063.  A backyard that is full of birds and squirrels
0064.  Craft kits that keep an 8 year old busy.
0065.  The library which fills my endless need for books.
0066.  The cranky librarian that challenges me to be nice anyway.
0067.  New recipes that turn out great.
0068.  Fruit and veggie ONLY snacks.
0069.  A box full of yarn that beckons me to create.
0070.  Pretty princess dress ups that are worn daily.

Monday Gratitude~{Past Due}

0032.  Flowers picked from the backyard, given to me after a not so great horrible day with the kids.
0033. "I love you much, Mommy" {Maleiah, 3 years old}
0034.  Candles
0035.  Options for medicine that don't include a bunch of things I can't pronounce.  The Vitamin Store lady who was SO helpful.
0036.  Tim McGraw {I kinda like him...}
0037.  Watching Maleiah lip sync to any song...it's hilarious.
0038.  Listening to Caeden narrate a lesson back to Justin with more information than I even remembered.
0039.  "Read more!"
0040.  As always, my friends.  They are infinitely more than I ask for or imagine.
0041.  Fresh baked bread
0042.  Christmas music playing.
0043.  A clean counter, at least for a few hours.
0044.  Cooler days and nights that require quilts and snuggling.
0045.  A busy November for birthdays, life celebrated and remembered.
0046. Warm baked bread.
0047.  Organic fruit and veggies from a local farm waiting on my doorstep.
0048.  Bloggers who help us find a way...
0049.  A boy who is loving his backyard....finally
0050.  Hands that work hard every day to provide for our family.
0051.  A slower paced Christmas season than normal.
0052.  Kids in seperate rooms which means they go to sleep peacefully.
0053.  A brand new laminator. :)
0054.  Great books to read aloud.
0055.  God's Word, living and active.

Receiving

and the gifts continue... 
 

0016. Friends to spend an entire day with, in a car, at the beach.
0017. A hill with apples, friends and lots of rolling down hills.
0018. Maleiah's fashion sense or lack thereof.  It makes me smile.

0019. A school day done by noon.
0020. Rain and wind, leaves twirling off the trees.
0021. Art projects to make with the twirling leaves.

0022. My husband who works hard days to provide for our family, even when he feels sick.
0023. Birthdays to plan for.  :)
0024. Heads to knit hats for.
0025. My dad, and his optimism that carries him through his stroke recovery.
0026. My step-sister who now feels more like what I imagine a sister might feel like.
0027. Bloggers that inspire.
0028. A new day.
0029. Friday Night Movie Night at the movie theater!
0030. Dinner with friends, celebrating another year. 
0031. A brother and a sister

For more go here...